CONVERT OR DIE!   ISLAM’S CONTRACT ON POPE BENEDICT XVI!

Al Capone was quiet about what he intended to do to Bugs Moran—he snuck around in the night, brought in thugs from out of town, made plans for his own absence. Adolph Hitler used deceit. He sent the SA (the Sturmabteilung) on vacation and while they were pampering themselves at Bad Wiessee, Heinrich Himmler prepared the Night of the Long Knives. There was no publicity, no warning, the contract was let, the deed was done and Himmler and Reinhardt Heydrich went home happy. The SA was not asked to convert to any new political philosophy or to pay an onerous tax (a jizya) as a sign of submission. They were negatively extended—one of Joe Stalin’s euphemisms for single or mass disappearances. Bugs Moran never got Capone’s Valentine’s Day card—he was a late riser—which was fortunate otherwise he wouldn’t have had the pleasure of dying of lung cancer in a Federal Penitentiary and being buried in a pauper’s grave.

The Nazis, the Mafia, the Communists; the Klan—all had hit lists, some more extensive than others. They selected their targets carefully, hired assassins or made the hit themselves and seldom bragged about it. It was dirty, disgusting work that did little to enhance their reputations. One had to keep one’s hands clean. Such is not the case with Islam. When the Mad Mullahs propose a contract—a fatwa—there is no secrecy, they want everybody to know, especially the honoree. The insane vie with the insane to be first and Pope Benedict XVI has been duly put on notice. The crazies want to Pope worse than they wanted Salman Rushdie and Ayann Hirsi Ali. The Pope has been asked to convert to Islam, the first step in the ritual. Actually he has three choices; he can convert, he can remain a Christian by admitting his inferiority to Islam and by paying a tax (the jizya) or he can die.

Dr. Imad Hampto, a Palestinian religious leader, said, “We want to use the words of the Prophet Muhammad and tell the pope, “Aslim Taslam.” Joe Stalin would have recognized Aslim Taslam for what it was—negative extension. The Klan knew it as cross burning. The Prophet had used the Aslim Taslam phrase in letters he had sent to rival tribal chieftains. It meant “convert or die.” If Capone or Hitler had sent Aslim Taslam notices to Bugs Moran and Ernst Rhoem (SA Chief) they would have given away their advantage. Moran and Rhoem were not novices when it came to violence. In fairness to Capone, he never targeted anyone remotely close to Benedict XVI in thought, word and deed, and would have been aghast at the very idea. Herr Adolph gave little thought to the morality of his actions and in that he was more akin Muhammad than he was to Al

The ‘insulting’ historically accurate words were scarcely out of the Pope’s mouth when the Aslim Taslam threats began and, as with the Jyllands-Posten cartoons, everybody wanted to get into the act. Mohammed al-Qaddafi, son of Libya’s Moammar Qaddaft, drew a line in the sand. “If this person (Benedict XVI) were really someone reasonable, he would not agree to remain at his post one minute but would convert to Islam immediately,” he said. The road apple never falls far from the horse’s patooot.

From the great theological university at Qom in Iran the Ayatollah Abdullah Javadi Amoli wagged the Qur’an in the face of the unbelievers. “Pope should know that had it not been for Islam and its divine book, nothing would have been left of Christianity and Judaism,” he _______(fill in the blank with screeched, thundered, screamed, or boasted). One might have added ‘lied’ to the list but there is some doubt as to Amoli’s capacity to understand or absorb ideas originating beyond the mental confines of the Islamic straightjacket. Yet Amoli is inviting the religious leaders and followers of other religions to meet with Muslim divines so they can get to ‘know’ that Islam is the religion of reason and logic.

Did he say reason and logic? Yes, he did.

Qur’an 72:15 “The disbelievers are the firewood of ****.”

Qur’an 60:5 “We reject you. Hostility and hate have come between us forever, unless you believe in Allah only.”

There was more reason and logic (and more humanity) in the relationship between Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.

If America had been as outraged over 9/11 as Islam has been over a few words from the Pope, the Nuclear Clock would have struck Midnight and Mecca, Tehran and Riyadh would be glowing in the dark. There is no logic and reason in Islam—the only constant is a smoldering hatred of non-Muslims. Islam was founded by a madman and kept alive by the life’s blood of destroyed civilizations. From San Diego to Srinagar and from Detroit to Damascus there are millions of Muslims capable of killing the Pope A suggestion from a Mad Mullah, a chance opportunity, a moment of rage—the rage that constantly consumes altogether too many Muslims—and the deed would be done. It would be easier to find a Muslim willing to murder the Pope than to find a Christian willing to torch the Qur’an.

Islam is not a religion of peace and toleration; it is not a religion of reason and logic. It is what Muhammad made it and disbelievers are the firewood of ****.

HUGO CHAVEZ STRIDES THE U.N. LIKE A COLOSSUS!

Quotes and unsolicited commentary:

“Representatives of the governments of the world, good morning to all of you. First of all, I would like to invite you, very respectfully, to those who have not read this book, to read it. Noam Chomsky, one of the most prestigious American and world intellectuals, Noam Chomsky, and this is one of his most recent books, Hegemony or Survival…nyuk, nyuk, nuyk.”

Joe College: We’ve read it; we’ve read it, Hugo! We read it at Berkeley; we read it at Cambridge; we read it at Chapel Hill. We read it in Economics; we read it in Cultural Studies. We read it in Anthropology, in Environment, in English Literature, in Social Studies, in History. We got Chomsky coming out of our ears! Couldn’t you recommend something by Bill O’Reilly? People will think you are a Communist.

“I had considered reading from this book, but, for the sake of time, I will just leave as a recommendation…nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”

Cynic: He must be new to the UN. These clowns aren’t going to read that book. He might as well recommend the Holy Bible to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or the Paris Hilton Papers to Omar Bakri Mohammed. The only thing these rascals have ever read was the fine print in the Oil for Food swindle.

“The devil is right at home. The devil, the devil himself is right in the house. And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday the devil came here. Right here. (Chavez crosses himself) And it smells of sulfur still today…nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”

Doctor Frankenstein: I believe Senor Chavez is grossly mistaken. The sulfuric odor commenced in October of 1960 when Nikita Khrushchev took off his shoe and banged it on his desk. I have been monitoring this place ever since. I bring my, ah, friend here every few years—secretly, of course. The atmosphere seems to rejuvenate him. He literally glows. Unfortunately, the odor seems to be getting stronger. Ygor will no longer accompany us. He says great evil is afoot here, and my, ah, friend grows more unruly with each passing episode. I sense the presence of the undead. Is Mohammed here?

“Point three, the immediate suppression—and this is something everyone’s calling for—of the anti-democratic mechanism known as the veto, the veto on the decisions of the Security Council…nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”

Rudolph Hess: Mein Fuhrer, you are crying!”

Adolph Hitler: I can’t help it, dear Hess. If the League of Nations had been like this—such a fine body of men; such dedication, such understanding—we would never have withdrawn!

“Yes, you can call us extremists, but we are rising up against the empire, against the model of domination…nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”

Han Solo: Whom does this creep think he’s kidding? George Bush isn’t Darth Vader. Senor Chavez ought to stop reading that Chomsky nonsense and watch Star Wars from beginning to end. That fat clown wouldn’t make a pimple on Luke Skywalker’s butt…maybe on Rosie O’Donnell’s but not on Luke’s.

“We want ideas to save our planet, to save the planet from the imperialist threat…nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”

Jerry Seinfeld: And we waited an hour to hear this crap?

George Costanza: Kramer recommended it.

Jerry Seinfeld: Kramer!

“And maybe we have to change location (of the UN). Maybe we have to put the United Nations somewhere else; maybe a city of the south. We’ve proposed Venezuela…nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”

Now that is an idea who’s time has come:: http://www.americanpolicy.org/petition-un1-htm

“It smells of sulfur here, but God is with us and I embrace you all. May God bless us all. Good day to you… nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”

Larry: Say, did you notice how much that guy looks like Curley?”

Curley: I’ll have you know I’ve got a full head of skin…nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe: Well, we know where to go if we ever need a replacement for Mr. Knucklehead here.

ISLAM GANESHES ITS TEETH OVER THE GANESH IDOLS! OPIE KNEW BETTER

Opie Taylor had never seen a Frankenstein movie before and he wanted to go in the worst way. He pestered and pestered and finally Sheriff Andy relented. “Don’t eat too much popcorn,” warned Aunt Bea. Well, Opie saw the movie and then spent the rest of the night hiding under the sheets on his bed while Deputy Sheriff Barney Fife stood guard. Eventually he fell asleep; Barney stayed awake all night. It was scary; Barney still talks about it. It must have been something like that when the Taliban entered the Bamiyan Valley and got a look at the three giant Buddha for the first time. Perhaps they were as frightened as Opie. But whatever it was it didn’t last long. Terror and consternation soon turned to hatred, outrage and violence. Opie Taylor was Andy’s kid; the Taliban were Allah’s slaves.

They brought up tanks, artillery; opened fire. For a while the three giant Buddha resisted. One of them was 174-feet tall—a lot taller than the Frankenstein monster. If it had been made of flesh and blood it would have been destroyed in an instant, but it was made of stone, a cultural and spiritual icon 1,400 years old—it was too young to die. If just one of the Buddha had had the strength and the tenacity and the mandibles of King Kong or Godzilla the Taliban would have received its just deserts—the miserable wretches would have been reduced to fried goat’s pizzles or shredded hog entrails. Nonetheless, even with their great advantage, the Taliban was hard pressed. They resorted to dynamite to bring down the three Buddha. Such is the mettle of concentration camp guards, child molesters and Allah’s fedayeen. Shed a tear for the three Buddha.

When Ralph Malph drew his first dirty picture he couldn’t wait to show it to Potsy and Richie. From there they moved on to Playboy Magazines—one after another. And then Mr. Cunningham found Richie’s Playboy. “I’m disappointed in you, Richard,” said Mr. Cunningham. “Hey!” said the Fonz. “Don’t throw that thing away, Mr. C!” Mr. C didn’t throw that ‘thing’ away. It was an historical artifact; he didn’t throw away historical artifacts…Ralph Malph still has his dirty picture. He has come to cherish it though one can draw only so many breasts on a stick figure.

Not all people appreciate art and many of the unappreciative are named Mohammed. A case in point: When the Jyllands-Posten cartoons burst upon the public scene in September of 2005, a lot of folks named Mohammed went wild (And Ahmed and Mahmoud and Habib too) Buildings were torched, flags were desecrated, fatwas were issued, George W. Bush was called a Nazi, and Ward Churchill and Noam Chomsky renewed their vows to aid the downtrodden. The cartoons became instant historical artifacts and would have to be preserved. Fortunately, tens of thousands of bloggers came to the rescue. The cartoons were ‘saved.’ There are more of them on the Internet than Granny Clampett has buckeyes. This has not pleased Omar Bakri Mohammed and Ibrahim Hooper and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. If Allah had wanted people to be artists he would have given them crayons for fingers.

One can almost understand the Taliban’s hatred of the giant Buddha. Twenty years in a Mad-Rats-Asses school can do strange things to a person’s mind. Alcatraz and Sing-Sing produced better-adjusted individuals in far fewer years. The furor over the Jyllands-Posten cartoons would make sense if one had paid for a Picasso and got a Smiley Burnett. Otherwise it is insanity. The Mohammed cartoons scarcely rose to the level of art. Adolph Hitler gave away better watercolors on the streets of Vienna. Maybe they were jealous of the Shroud of Turin.

Sure, the giant Buddha and the Mohammed cartoons were big things but why would somebody pick on the Ganesh idol? Ganesh never hurt anybody. He’s a God—the Hindu Lord of Good Fortune. He minds his own business. As far as anybody knows he doesn’t hold bake sales and has never been married to Anna Nicole Smith. That’s a pretty good record. He was instrumental in the partition of India. Gandhi couldn’t have done it without him. Perhaps that is what Muslims don’t like about him.

The first icon a good Hindu places in a new house is a Ganesh idol. He’s a jolly fellow. He looks like an elephant. He has four arms—sometimes more—and a potbelly. He is considered the master of intellect and wisdom. So why would some Muslim morons throw stones at him? Morons? Isn’t that a bit harsh? No, it’s what they did that makes them morons. They pelted the old guy. Why would they do that? Well, in India, it’s an old story.

The stoning took place the other day at Tulzapur, Maharashtra, during an immersion procession. A group of Hindus were escorting a Ganesh idol to a nearby lake for a ritual immersion when the parade passed a mosque. Out came the morons—it is difficult to find suitable words to describe such idiocy so morons will have to do (Peaceful morons should not be offended by these words anymore than George W. Bush is offended by being called a Nazi, no insult is intended) So the morons poured out of the mosque, screaming insults and flinging stones. The Ganesh idol was damaged and many people were injured. The gendarmes were called and order was restored.

This sort of violence occurs on a regular basis throughout India. The individual incidents do not rise to the level of a 9/11 but their cumulative effect over a thousand years amounts to a mini-holocaust and is indicative of the mindset that has poisoned Islam’s relations with non-Muslims. Unfortunately, the fabled religion of peace and tolerance is no more peaceful than the twister that tumbled Dorothy into the Land of Oz and no more tolerant than an SS Battalion battering street by street into the Warsaw Ghetto.

Opie never hated the Frankenstein monster—actually he felt sorry for it. Ralph Malph drew only one picture; he didn’t understand the Jyllands-Posten cartoons and thereby preserved his sanity. Christianity did not program Opie and Ralph for violence against others. The Muslims who threw stones at the Ganesh idol did so for the opposite reason. Call it programming, call it hatred; it scarcely matters. Taking advantage of morons should be a crime.

Mohammed khatami entertains the troops at Harvard!

They don’t let just anybody speak at Harvard. No, sir, one has to be a very important person, at least the vice-president of some Fortune 500 corporation or an un-indicted Watergate co-conspirator or one of them molecule guys who uses bigger words than William F. Buckley and actually knows what they mean, or a celebrity like Jesse Ventura, a former Governor, a big-time wrestler and a humorist. Jesse was funnier than that Rogers guy: no, not Will, the other one. What was his name? Roy…Kenny…Buck…Mister Rogers…one of them.

Yeah, you have to be somebody to speak at Harvard—a one-time guest shot on Laugh In or the Mayberry Files just won’t do it. Jethro Bodine was never invited. He would have been a natural. That boy had charm; he had wit; he had wisdom. He would have been a match for Jesse Ventura. And he was an Oxford grad too. And there’s no better crawdaddin’ in all of New England than on the banks of the Charles River. Of course, he was a little too red-white-and blue for Harvard. Now if he had been a scoundrel or an enemy of the Unites States like what’s-his-name—Mohammed Khatami—he would have been in like Flynn; no, not Errol, that other guy. Or was that in like Flint?

Anyway, Harvard invited Khatami. Now he’s a pretty big fish. He was President of Iran during its great reform period. It’s really amazing how many people in Iran missed it. They didn’t hang 16-year-old girls in public when he was President. No, sir, he knew better than that; they did it in private. He had class. He smiled a lot. Heinrich Himmler could have learned from him. Harvard would have preferred Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Khatami’s successor as President, but the Little Corporal is so short they would have had to build a special podium or cut the legs off the old one. Besides, Khatami was insult enough for the Bush administration and the skull and boneheads at Cambridge didn’t want to press their luck.

So Khatami was invited. He wasn’t exactly Bob Hope or Jethro Bodine but he did his best and he did entertain the troops. He delivered his speech at the John F. Kennedy School of Government. He didn’t call George W. Bush a Nazi—he must have missed the cue card. He said he had problems with Osama bin Laden. As for the suicide bombers, he had thought that one out. “Those who put others through Hades will never go to heaven,” he said. Is he sure?

Qur’an 67:7 “We have prepared the doom of **** and the penalty of torment in the most intense Blazing Fire. (That sounds like 9/11) For those who reject their Lord is the punishment of ****: (Putting dhimmis through the Blazing Fire is what Islam is about) Evil, it is such a wretched destination.”

Wretched destination? Well, he got that part right. Scarcely had the last burst of applause died away and he was off to his next wretched destination: The Washington National Cathedral (subtitled: A National House of Prayer For All People—well, not for Jerry Falwell or Michael Newdow or the followers of the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)

Got any smoked crawdads? Is that you, Jethro? He didn’t get invited here either.

Khatami wowed the Abrahamic crowd at the National Cathedral. He was Judaism, Christianity and Islam all rolled into one. And he smiled a lot. He didn’t tell them they would all be wearing turbans just like his when they had been properly Abrahamized—maybe he didn’t have to; his auditors where not among the smartest people in the world, nor among the most Christian. “The orient,” he said, “which by definition means guidance and orderliness, can engage in a historic dialogue with Europe and the United States, inviting them to moderation and tranquility.” There was a lot of that—guidance, orderliness, moderation, tranquility; especially moderation.

The West could use a little moderation. But doggies, even Jethro knows moderation is supposed to begin at home! Uncle Jed said so. No, Khatami’s speech didn’t ring true. Islam’s track record was like a noose around its neck, like a cement overcoat dragging a Mafioso stool pigeon into the abyss. Forget the fine words, open the Book of Ontology to the chapter that says Don’t Be Stupid, and grope for the truth. Khatami’s speech wasn’t St. Paul’s Epistle to the Corinthians. No, sir, it was more like one of Satan’s helpers, lecturing a confused group of wannabe angels on the correct path to Paradise.

Was it moderation? Who says? How much moderation was on display when the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini issued his fatwa against Salman Rushdie—a fatwa supported by the majority of Muslims? When Khatami became President of Iran, long after Khomeini was gone, he said he would do nothing to carry out the death part of the fatwa. That was mighty magnanimous, but he never said he disagreed with the fatwa—life imprisonment for Rushdie would be just fine with him.

Nor was Khatami heavy on the side of moderation when the Jyllands-Posten cartoons hit the Qur’anic fan. “Offensive and insulting, is different from expressing an opinion that can be analyzed, argued on and can eventually be accepted or rejected,” he said. “Therefore offending others is not acceptable.” Tens of millions of people are offended every day—many of them by Khatami. Fortunately, some people bear up better under insult than others. For instance, Andrew Jackson was less offended by the behavior of John C. Calhoun during the Petticoat Affair than Khatami was by Salman Rushdie’s Satanic Verses and Pat Buchanan was less offended by the Psst Christ than Khatami was by the Mohammed cartoons.

Maybe Khatami is a closet Puritan. He’s always talking about Puritanism and he brought it up during his speech at the John F. Kennedy School of Government. Maybe the Rev. Robert Edgar should take note. “The pleasant ring of the word ‘Puritan’ has always delighted the lover of freedom, compassion and humanity,” said Khatami. Then things went bad in the Colonies. “Politicians who ought to have followed the free spirit of the Puritans started to nurse dreams of world domination.” National Public Radio loved it. This was pure anti-Bush Globalism. Maybe they missed the smell of the coming Caliphate.

No, he wasn’t Jesse Ventura. And he wasn’t Jethro Bodine. He was Islam’s version of Bob Hope. Really? Of course, this is what he would have said if he had had Mel Brooks for a speechwriter:

“This is Mohammed Camp Harvard Khatami. It’s good to be here with all you freedom fighters at Hezbollah’s number one training camp on the banks of the Charles…a strange thing happened to Omar Bakri Mohammed at the airport. His prayer rug got caught in Governor Romney’s zipper…We’ve got Yvonne Ridley and Ingrid Mattson They will perform the dance of the seven hijabs… and Ibrahim Hooper will do his impersonation of Jerry Colonna.”

It wasn’t Hope at Danang; it was Khatami at Harvard.

The Travails of Homaidan Al-Turki—“It’s tough being a slave owner in 21^st Century America”

The sheer injustice of the sentence was enough to make a grown Muslim cry. A wailing and gnashing of teeth was heard round the world. There was scarcely a dry-eyed Imam in all of Cairo and dozens of Mullahs were so upset they beat their housekeepers instead of their wives. Homaidan Al-Turki, the gentle linguist, the compassionate bookseller, the humble PhD candidate at the University of Colorado, had been sentenced to 27 years to life in Colorado’s Rocky Mountain version of Abu Ghraib for unlawful sexual conduct by use of force, theft, and extortion. He had also been convicted of false imprisonment and conspiring to commit false imprisonment—in other words, slavery.

What a gross miscarriage of justice! His crime? He had selflessly given of himself. Yes, he had allowed a poor indigent Indonesian woman to take advantage of his Islamic largesse! He had given her a job, room and board, and a chance to make something of herself. Was there no justice in the land of the free and the home of the brave? Oh, the ignominy!

Jefferson Davis had held millions of African-Americans in slavery for years; they were dhimmis, to be sure, but that was no excuse, they were still people of the Book and had some rights. And what did Davis get? A tap on the wrist—that’s what! Two years in a private room in Fortress Monroe! And he had resisted arrest—at Gettysburg, at Vicksburg, at Chickamauga, at Chancellorsville and at a dozen other places. And he never went to trial! He would not have been treated so lightly if he had been a Muslim.

An emotional Al-Turki told the judge, “Your honor, I am not here to apologize for I cannot apologize for things I did not do and for crimes I did not commit. Attacking traditional Muslim behavior was the focal point of the prosecution.”

Qur’an 33:51 “You may have whomever you desire; There is no blame.”

Apparently Al-Turki desired his Indonesian housekeeper and was convicted for sexually assaulting her and for holding her in virtual slavery for four years. It wasn’t right! Dhimmi law didn’t make any sense! Jeff Davis got off scot-free! Of course, that was in 1865, and the laws have changed since then—in the United States, not in Saudi Barbaria, but in the United States. Couldn’t they have made some kind of allowance as between people of the Book? Gosh, how was Al-Turki to know slavery was forbidden in the US? There weren’t any signs posted anywhere. He wasn’t a historian; he was a Muslim! A little slavery never hurt any country. If the United States was as culturally diverse as it claims they would allow religiously sanctioned servitude. It wouldn’t be for everybody—just for Muslims.

“I was convicted on fear and emotion, not facts,” said the gentle linguist. “I want a fair trial where my religion and where I come from is not a conviction.”

(Al-Turki immigrated from 6^th Century Saudi Barbaria where open professions of non-Muslim religions will get one flogged and deported; a land where the Bible, the Torah and the cross are banned. The Saudi Religious Police (The Authority for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice) are more numerous in the streets of Riyadh than Der Fuhrer’s Gestapo were in the dark alleys of Berlin and Stuttgart and have been proven less susceptible to schnapps and more prone to violence. There are more Black Robes per square inch in Saudi Barbaria than there were fleas in the Prophet’s beard and almost as many fleas as flaws in Al-Turki’s preposterous complaints).

Fear? Emotions? He wants a fair trial? Suppose, he had been a Christian caught carrying a Bible in Saudi Barbaria? That sounds good. He would have been flogged and sent packing. And what about raping a Muslim woman? One is talking castration and the death penalty. Anybody got Ramsey Clark’s phone number?

How much time will Al-Turki actually spend in jail? Not enough to rot his socks. It won’t be anywhere near 27 years. The Federal Government has already dropped charges against the gentle linguist—he has suffered enough apparently—and Saudi negotiators have opened talks at the highest levels of the US government to win his release from prison. He will be sprung before the Chicago Cubs have a winning season.

In the meantime, the compassionate bookseller’s wife, Sarah Khoniazan, currently serving one month in the hoosegow for her part in her husband’s production of Gone With the Qur’an, is organizing a boycott of American goods. All good Saudis are being urged to spend their petrodollars elsewhere. What a devastating blow this will be to the American economy! The lip-gloss industry will take a big hit and Frederick’s of Hollywood will probably never recover!

Ah—if that were the only bad news! Thousands of students from Saudi Barbaria are enrolling in American universities this fall under a new educational exchange program brokered by George W. Bush (PBUH) and King Bubbadullah. How many American students—aside from Muslim-Americans—will be going to Saudi universities is a military secret.

What was it Mrs. Parker said to Bonnie? “I don’t want you hanging around with that Clyde Barrow?” It’s a pity! And to think George W. turned down Potsy and Ralph-Malph for Bubbadullah!

THE DAY THE FLAG CAME DOWN IN MAYWOOD

Being a cop in Maywood, California, must be one of the easiest jobs in the world. The city is 94 percent Latino, there’s no ethnic profiling, they welcome illegal immigrants—it’s a sanctuary city—and the ayuntamiento recently passed a resolution condemning the Sensenbrenner-King Immigration Bill. Run a red light and no sweat—Wojo and Dietrich don’t care if you’re from Guadalajara of Swaledale; no questions asked. And if somebody hauls down the American flag from in front of the US Post Office, well, no worry there either. Wojo’s job is to prevent violence—to keep those crazy Minutemen from taking the law into their own hands. Yes, even in Maywood, as hard as it is to believe, somebody might object to the takeover of Federal Property by the Indigenous Nazis Peoples.

It’s a good think Cliff Claven wasn’t on duty at the Post Office. He might not have understood what was taking place. Civilians hauling down the US flag? Stomping on it? What did Woody put in that last drink? Things like this didn’t happen in the United States. Obviously, a man in uniform like Cliff would have to do something about this gross insult to the nation’s pride. Suppose he had gone out there and tried an Ira Hayes—interfered with the hate-mongers—what would Maywood’s finest have done? With Heinrich Sahm as Alcalde and Hermann Goering as Chief of Police they would probably have done what they did—nothing. The gendarmes were not there to interfere with the rights of the Indigenous Nazis Peoples to tear down flags of their choice but to protect them from their just deserts.

The flag that Major Robert Anderson and his battered band of artillerists flew at Fort Sumter in 1861 received more respect from the Rebels gathered around Charleston Harbor than Old Glory got in Maywood from Vicente Fox’s 5^th Column Keystone Kops. So—without interference—the valiant Indigenous Nazis Peoples stomped on the US flag and screamed “Death to the Minutemen.” And those rascals want to be accepted as US citizens? Or is it something else?

Napoleon would have known what to do. Zachary Taylor would have said, “Give them a little more grape, Mister Bragg.” The major media would not touch this story with Zbignief Brzinzski even if he were ten foot tall. While Maywood’s Keystoners lounged against their vehicles the Indigenous Nazis Peoples supposedly beat up a woman and injured an elderly man. And they want a pay raise? What were they waiting for—a message from Garcia?

Maybe this is too harsh an assessment. The mayor, Thomas Martin is no Heinrich Sahm (Sahm was Mayor of Berlin in the 1930s) and Bruce Leflar, Maywood’s Chief of Police is no Hermann Goering. Gracious, no! Martin and Leflar are ordinary folks, committed to their community and to the illegal aliens they have welcomed into their midst. They are proud of Maywood’s history, its progress and the diverse culture of its population though what they call diversity may well be in the eye and the mind of the beholder than in demographics. A population 94 percent Latino is closer to Mayberry RFD than to Hillary Clinton’s Potemkin Global Village. Why not add a couple of thousand Chinese, fill up a few wards with Bangladeshis and Icelanders? That sounds nice. And a hundred or so more Minutemen wouldn’t hurt either. It would make Maywood look more American.

And there’s the Maywood gendarmerie to account for. Goering’s police force did nothing while Nazis thugs beat up Jews and Communist in the streets of Berlin and Jefe Leflar’s Car 54s did nothing while the Indigenous Nazis Peoples took down Old Glory, stamped on it, and raised the Mexican flag. Goering was a Nazi; Martin and Leflar are ordinary people, yet like Goering, they did nothing. Had the City Fathers made a deal with the Indigenous Nazis? Could be.

There was almost as much cultural diversity in The Three Stooges and far more in the Chicago Cubs’ pitching staff than there is in Maywood, yet the flag still flies on the Stooges’ websites and over Wrigley Field—it came down in Maywood.

LET”S CALL THEM WHAT THEY ARE—THEY ARE NOT ISLAMO-FASCISTS TERRORISTS, THEY ARE MUSLIM TERRORISTS!

Eric Hoffer was smarter than George W. Bush. No argument there. Hoffer was smarter than just about anybody who has ever lived. Erich Fromme was smarter than George W. Bush. So was Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin and Socrates though that hemlock thing has caused some brainiacs to question the latter’s position among the great thinkers. And the guys that invented the zipper were smarter than George W and Jeb and Bush the Elder combined and one can throw in the Partridge Family. That’s pretty smart. But, believe it or not, there are people who are not as smart as the Texas Gunslinger and not all of them reside in Hollywood. No, sir!

For instance, there is Michael Quay of Phoenixville News.com. He’s a writer of sorts so one would think he would know better, yet this is what he wrote for Phoenixville News: “The soft-skinned-never-fought-in-a-war gang of Bush, Cheney and Santorum need to get their noses out of those idiotic books written by Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter and instead read some real history before they start calling people Nazis and Fascists.”

Quay was not alone in his attacks on the Pres. There’s Charley Reese, the poor man’s Pat Buchanan. Reese wrote this for The Arab American News.com: “President George Bush’s ignorance of the Middle East and its people is well-known. So also is his habit of parroting words and sentences given to him by other people. He hit a new low when he referred to ‘Islamic fascists.’” Charley Reese believes the United States has a ‘Jewish problem, when in fact it has a Charley Reese problem.

If the President’s words were that bad, who did he offend—the American Nazi Party, National Socialism, the Lower Slobbovian Das Reich Division, the Katzenjammer Kids, the George Lincoln Rockwell Ten-Piece Gesundheit Band? Some of those groups must have been upset at being compared to the disgusting Islamo-fascist thugs who brought down the World Trade Center. There are moderate National Socialists. They might be a little to the right of Center and angry half of the time and stupid most of the time but they don’t go around blowing up buildings, chopping off heads and calling press conferences every time they are questioned by the FBI.

And there is the Aryan Nation. These are not dime store Nazis. These guys are for real. They are fascists; they admit to being fascists; they find glory in fascism and they can recognize it when they see it in others—and they see it in Islam. August B. Kreis III, Director of the Aryan Nation, put this on the Nation’s website: “The bottom line—Aryan Nation WILL continue to support Islamic Jihad, in all ways, until the destruction of jews, the terrorist state of israel and zionism worldwide is complete! NEVER FORGET: VIOLENCE IS THE ONLY SOLUTION! ALLAHU AKBAR!” Apparently it takes one to know one.

There are many on the moderate and radical left who casually refer to George W. Bush as a Nazi but are outraged when Muslim terrorists are called Islamo-fascists. If Bush knew anything about history, they insist, he would not use such words. Well, maybe—nonetheless, many historians see more than a few similarities between Islam and Fascism. As for Quay and Reese, the line from an old song seems to fit—“Don’t know much about history—“

In fact, Quay said fascist don’t march—they goosestep and Reese said, “The West faces no threat from Islam,” because “there is no Muslim pope.” This is the kind of thinking that kept the Captain and Der Inspector from coming to grips with Hans and Fritz while there was still time to save Cannibal Island. For Quay’s information, the Fedayeen, Hezbollah and the Iranian Army goosestep, and, dear Mr. Reese, Islam has a Pope. His name is Mohammed. He may have died 1,400 years ago but his violent, angry and unreasoning spirit—call it what one will—holds sway to this day over the minds of more than one billion of Allah’s faithful while Islam’s crimes, unlike those of Hitler and Mussolini, have faded into the blissful ignorance of people like Quay and Reese.

Islam, like Fascism and Communism, is a totalitarian ideology. It has as much to do with politics as with religion, has more silly rules than a game of Calvin Ball, has sent more people to their deaths than a thousand Dachaus and Treblinkas, and is as violent as a triple-overtime grudge match winner-take-all between Godzilla and King Kong.

The similarities between Mohammed and Hitler are striking. Both were angry, violent and vengeful men who imposed rigid semi-barbaric, pseudo-religious systems on the gullible, the greedy, the fearful and the criminal. There was no mass media in the 7^th Century to expose Mohammed for what he was. One or two unread poets were not enough. On the other hand, Hitler had to contend with the printed word, the newsreel camera and eventually Winston Churchill. The shelf life of a 20^th Century dictator was much less than it was in Mohammed’s time. The Prophets followers had centuries to do as they pleased. There was no Walter Cronkite to say, “You are there;” no muckraking journalist counting corpses in back alleys; no Mike Wallace to shove a microphone into the face of barbarism—make that a young Mike Wallace.

If Mohammed had thrived during the 1930s instead of the 7^th Century he would have suffered the same fate as Hitler—it would have been 30 years and out. In the 1990s he would have been another David Koresh, a crazy man exposed just in time.

Did George Bush hit a new low when he referred to Islamic-fascists? No, but it was a waste of time and energy. He should have called them what they are—not Islamo-fascists but Muslim terrorists for only the truth will set them free. George W. Bush, unfortunately, is not yet ready for that.

DHIMMIS TAKE NOT WAHHABIS AND SUNNIS AND SHIA FOR YOUR FRIENDS---

“Eleven things are impure: urine, excrement, sperm…non-Muslim men and women…and the sweat of an excrement-eating camel”---Ayatollah Khomeini.

Tabari IX:69 “Killing disbelievers is a small matter to us.”

Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar rented a Jeep Cherokee and drove it into a crowd of University of North Carolina students at a popular campus gathering spot. He did it to “punish the government of the United States for actions across the world.”

“It is enough to make one want to strap a bomb to one’s chest and kill those racists (Jews)…The enemy is not overseas. The enemy is also amongst us.”---Fadi Kiblawi, writer, speaker, warmonger, bigot and workshop host as a Palestine Solidarity Movement hate-fest at Duke University, Chapel Hill, S.C.

Zurah Abdu Ahmed, 42, living in Florida, mother of Adnan El’Shukri-Juman, on the FBI’s list of Most Wanted Terrorists: “You know something, he and I used to say, ‘If this country had Islamic law it would be the best country in the world.’”

Tayssir Jaradat, father of Hanadi Tayssir Jaradat, 29-year-old law school graduate who walked into the Maxim restaurant in Haifa and blew herself and 19 others to Kingdom Come, “I am very proud of what she has done. She is a very strong person. She would pray and read the Koran every day.”

Impure…a small matter…punish…enemy…Islamic law…pray and read the Koran every day…

Dhimmis take not Wahhabis and Sunnies and Shia for your friends. They are but friends and protectors of each other.

Omar Bakri Mohammed, a Syrian, after 20 years on the dole in England, “We should all glorify terrorism and we should incite religious hatred…If any Muslim wants to kill him (Tony Blair), or get rid of him, I would not shed a tear for him.”

Qur’an 2:39 “Those who reject and deny Our Signs will be inmates of **** Fire and will abide there forever.”

Dr. Ahmad Bin Muhammad, Algerian professor of religious politics, “I am not saying killing innocent people is nice. I say that all innocent people should be protected. But at the same time, we must start with the innocent among the Muslims. There are millions of innocent people among us, while the innocent among you—and innocent they are—number only dozens, hundreds, or thousands at most.”

Dr. Zaki Badawi: “Islam endeavors to expand in Britain. Islam is universal. It aims to bring its message to all corners of the earth. It hopes that one day the whole of humanity will be one Muslim community.”

Qur’an 5:73 “They are surely disbelieving who blaspheme and say ‘God is one of Three in the Trinity’…If they desist not from saying this (blasphemy), verily a grievous penalty will befall them---the disbelievers will suffer a painful doom.”

Hazem Sallah Abu Isma’il, Egyptian lawyer and businessman: “Eighty-two percent of all attempts to corrupt humanity originate from the Jews.”

Glorify terrorism…**** Fire… dozens…Islam is universal…painful doom…eighty-two percent…

Dhimmis take not Wahhabis and Sunnies and Shia for your friends. They are but friends and protectors of each other.