How old is US Congressman Keith Ellison (D-MN)? Forty…forty-five? He can’t be a day older than Rosie O’Donnell. He has a remarkable memory. It must have come from handling Thomas Jefferson’s Qur’an. He can remember things that happened before he was born. He was meeting recently with a group of atheists in Minneapolis when the talk got around to 9/11 "It's almost like the Reichstag fire he said, “kind of reminds me of that. After the Reichstag was burned, they blamed the Communists for it and put the leader of that country (Hitler) in a position where he could basically have authority to do whatever he wanted.”

Nobody cried “Allahu akbar!” These were atheists, members of a Minneapolis-based group called Atheists for Human Rights, and even if they might have preferred Christopher Hitchens or Bill Maher, they would settle for whomever they could get. “You’ll always find this Muslim standing up for your right to be atheists all you want,” promised Ellison. My, gosh, he sounded like one of the Founding Fathers! Was it Jefferson or Madison? Next he would be talking about the separation of Church and State. Was Virgil Goode wrong about this guy?

Was Ellison following the Qur’an or Jefferson on religious freedom? Does it matter? Should it matter? The Qur’an says: 2:256 “There is no compulsion in religion.” Jefferson said, "Compulsion in religion is distinguished peculiarly from compulsion in every other thing…I cannot be saved by a worship I disbelieve and abhor.”

Heinrich Himmler wished Islam had been the religion of Nazi Germany. Himmler was afraid German Christians would not have the stomach to accomplish the grim tasks facing the Third Reich. What the atheists thought of Ellison’s promise to defend their rights is not a matter of public record. No one swooned; no one called the paramedics. It was a magnanimous gesture for a Muslim, but before buying a pig in a poke, it might be good advice for an atheist to take a peek at the Qur’an and see what it really says. How about these little gems?

Qur’an 72:15 “The disbelievers are the firewood of hell!” and Qur’an 4:90 “If they turn back from Islam becoming renegades, seize them and kill them wherever you find them.”

Disbelievers…the firewood of hell…isn’t that a bit strong? Yes, it is. Atheists may not believe in the infernal region and there may be no such place but words converted into action can turn their lives into hell. No matter, the atheists applauded their new protector. Maybe there were being polite…the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so what if in the end the new friend eats his allies?

“We’re trying to upgrade the image of atheists,” said Marie Castle, spokesperson for the Minneapolis-based group. “They think we don’t have a moral compass.”

They? Who are they? Pat Robertson and Franklin Graham? Omar Bakri Mohammed? They are not the only live bodies out there. Opie Taylor and Paris Hilton don’t give a darn one way or the other. That should be enough. There are more Taylors and Hiltons than there are Robertsons and Grahams. Nonetheless, Atheists for Human Rights are concerned about their image and are vigorously promoting Atheist Values. Their website explains their raison d’etre: “As the Lutheran theologian Martin Marty said, ‘It is the role of unbelievers to force religions to be benign.’ We’ve made good progress on that in the last 200 or so years. The small percent of atheists, such as Andrew Quah, who side with the remaining holdouts in oppressing woman and gays, may lack a good belief but they also lack a moral compass.”

Forget Andrew Quah; the worst mass murderers of ‘the last 200 or so years’ were atheists—Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pott. The problem seems to be small tightly-knit groups of atheists (Communists or Nazis) leading large masses of bewildered Christians, Buddhists, agnostics and atheists in nation-wide, continent-wide and worldwide murderous rampages. But not to worry—Michael Newdow and Howard Dean will save America from itself, if not from the Mad Mullahs.

While the atheists cheered the first Muslim elected to the US House of Representatives, Islam continued to slip, unbeknownst, into the Little Red Schoolhouse. One can take this enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend nonsense just so far—it is not cancer light. As is true with all groups, Atheists for Human Rights are engaged in some useful activities. They support scholarships for gay and lesbian students; they support grants to poor women to help pay for abortions, physician aid in dying and protection for children harmed by faith healing. Well, two out of four isn’t bad.

When Ellison mentioned Richard Cheney, he received a standing ovation. (He cosigned the bill to impeach the Vice President) And Ellison delighted his audience when he expressed his opposition to President George W. Bush’s 'faith-based' initiative. “It’s essentially a public outreach arm for the Bush administration to reach out to the far right of the evangelical Christian movement,” he said. On the separation of Islam and State he was silent. Footbaths for Muslim students, special prayer rooms in public schools, the Qur’an taught as ‘culture,’ student trips to mosques—why bring up those unpleasant subjects?

But Ellison let the sura out of his Qur’an when he compared 9/11 to the Reichstag fire. He said he wasn’t saying what he was saying because people would take him at his word. “The fact is,” he said, “that I’m not saying (September 11) was a (US) plan, or anything like that because, you know, that’s how they put you in the nut-ball box…dismiss you.”

Among the signers of House Resolution 333, (the bill to impeach Richard Cheney) are: Dennis Kucinich (Ever wondered what Alfalfa would have looked and acted like at age 40?); Cynthia McKinney; Barbara (Berkeley) Lee; Lynn Woolsey (Lynn has a worse success rate in Congress than Casey Stengel had with the 1962 New York Mets. She has sponsored 107 bills with 106 failures); Jim McDermott (McDermott claimed the Iraq Embargo and the Oil-for-Food program killed millions of Iraqi children. Apparently one for each hundred thousand dollars stolen by UN officials and French and English politicians. McDermott was Saddam Hussein’s very best friend in the US Congress); Maxine Waters (Maxine is one of Fidel Castro’s very best friends in Congress); and James Moran (Moran is nobody’s very best friend and he proves it every day). And Keith Ellison doesn’t want to be mistaken for a nut-ball?

A piece of advice to Atheist for Human Rights: “Run…run very fast, or you will be judged by the company you keep.”

Mr. Jinks never won a Nobel Peace Prize. He was a cat and cats don’t win Nobel Peace Prizes. He also had a terrible temper; he would scream, “I hate those meeces to pieces!” He could have used a session or two with Doctor Phil but he kept himself under control and not once did he stand up in front of a thousand purring putty-cats and say, “Right now, I could kill Pixie and Dixie.” He might have discussed his peculiarity privately with Sylvester or Garfield, but it was something he didn’t want to get out. It would have ruined his cat-chet. Peppermint Patty would have thought twice about giving him a great big hug and Goldilocks would have ran screaming into the arms of The Three Bears. People could learn from Mr. Jinks.

Nobel Peace Prize winner Betty Williams could have learned from Mr. Jinks. “Right now, I could kill George Bush,” she said. Obviously she is not the first or the only person to voice this opinion—far from it. Every day millions of Muslims say they could kill George Bush; every day thousands of Liberal Democrats think the same thing if they don’t say it and there are a few die-hard Texas Ranger fans who have never forgiven the President for trading Sammy Sosa. But no Muslim or Liberal Democrat or disgusted Ranger fan has ever been given the opportunity to say it in front of 1,000 screaming delegates at an International Woman’s Peace Conference. Of course, if the opportunity had presented itself, most of them would have thought better and kept their mouths shut.

Would Betty Williams kill George Bush if she had the chance? Of course not! Without the Texas Gunslinger there would be no war in Iraq and the Peace Conference would have met in Outer Mozambique or West Xenophobia instead of Dallas, Texas. Some delegates were stunned by Ms Williams’ faux pas. Some were simply amused. It was like Mother Teresa kicking a leper in the ankle. It was “an incredible act of bravery,” said one delegate. No, that would be Alvin York taking a trench-full of Huns in the Meuse-Argonne or Claus von Stauffenberg sticking a bomb under Der Fuhrer’s conference table in Rastenberg. What Betty Williams did was—well, one does not want to call it stupid, but it was beyond silly, bordering on asinine, certainly unthinking, worse than ‘hating meeces to pieces.’ Let it go at that.

Ms Williams also said the President should be impeached. It’s a popular stance—done to death by assorted misfits and lightweights like Rosie O’Donnell, Nancy Pelosi and Jane Fonda. Why not tackle a first-class ogre like Omar al-Bashir or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Bashir has more blood clinging to his skirts than Mohammed had after his massacre of the Jews at Medinah in 627 AD. Nine hundred Jews who refused to convert to The True Faith had their heads chopped off at Medinah. There is no compulsion in Islam—one makes choices, simple choices between good and bad, lethal and non-lethal, so enjoy. Bashir participated in the murder of millions of Christians and animists in Sudan in the ‘80s and ‘90s and is currently masterminding the ethnic cleansing of Black Muslims from Darfur. Parade Magazine ranks Bashsir the world’s worst dictator. Mr. Jinks could easily hate Bashir to pieces.

Betty Williams apologized to the President—what else could she have done? “My feelings get ahead of me,” she confessed. Actually, she apologized immediately after making the comment. “No, I don’t mean that,’ she said. “How could you nonviolently kill somebody? I would love to be able to do that.” That’s easy for her to say! Dr. Fu Manchu spent years considering the possibility of nonviolent death. Stendhal tried it but it gave him palpitations. Mickey Rooney came close—eight or nine times. Hugh Hefner is still working on it. Killing people with kindness is the cruelest death of all; ask Archie Bunker and then stifle.

This wasn’t the first time Ms Williams said she would like to kill George Bush. She used the exact same words in Brisbane, Australia in July 2006 when she told hundreds of schoolchildren that she “would love to kill George Bush.” Now really, is that something to say to a bunch of kids? Couldn’t she have said, “I hate the President to pieces,” and retained at least a modicum of dignity? Tokyo Rose never said, “I could kill FDR.” Mary Chestnut never said, “I could kill Abe Lincoln.” Eva Braun never said, “I could kill Winston Churchill.” One would expect the leader of an International Woman’s Peace Conference to be at least the equal of Tokyo Rose, Mary Chestnut and Eva Braun.

Couldn’t Ms Williams let Islam’s violent nature take its course? Why stir up Harvey Lee Oswald? She’s beginning to sound like Rosie O’Donnell. Mr. Jinks is disgusted. This is the kind of behavior that got him in trouble. What is the world coming to if the Peace people are going around hating people to pieces? If Mr. Jinks could work things out with Pixie and Dixie why can’t Betty Williams work things out with George W. Bush?

How many times has Betty Williams said, “I could kill Osama bin Laden?” How many times has Betty Williams said, “I could kill Muqtada al-Sadr?” How many times has Betty Williams said, “I could kill Omar al-Bashir?” The chances are—none. Betty Williams should apologize to those kids in Brisbane—they are the ones she hurt, not George W. Bush. In the meantime, no one is fooling Mr. Jinks, he knows his meeces and from where he’s standing Betty Williams looks more like Hamas Mouse than Pixie or Dixie.

“I do solemnly swear…”

“I promise to tell the truth…”

“I pledge allegiance…”

Oath taking is fun and relatively harmless as long as it isn’t done with a stiff-arm salute and a goosestep. The good thing about most oaths is the oath-taker can forget his commitment until the next time he takes the oath—if ever. Now and then somebody starts a new oath—to save something; a country; a tree; a fair maiden, the world. Imagine Opie Taylor, Willie Lump-Lump, Huck Finn, Cliff Claven, Sean Penn, Sean Hannity all lined up with their hands on their chests ready to pledge their all to a new cause—the cause of Holy Mother Earth! Yes, Holy Mother Earth—July 7^th. Mark the day on your calendar—July 7^th, the day Al Gore saved Holy Mother Earth. Look at all the flags fluttering in the breeze! Gets you right here, doesn’t it? Remember Thomas Jefferson? Remember Dan’l Boone? Remember Grant and Sherman; George S. Patton, Valley Forge, the Alamo, Second Bull Run, Bastogne, the Tet Offensive, Fallujah? Maybe it was the flags.

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands,” piped up Opie.

Hold it! Hold it! Back up, kid! That’s not the pledge we’re taking today! This is 2007, not 2000 BC. This is, ahem, Al Gore’s pledge. Got that? Not put down those burgers and latch on to one of those yummy tofu bars the ladies are passing out. It will be better for you. Now put your hand over you heart and repeat after me.

“I pledge 1. To demand that my country join an international treaty within the next two years that cuts global warming pollution by 90 percent in developed countries and by more than half worldwide in time for the next generation to inherit a healthy earth…”

Wait a minute, wait a minute, Mr. Gore! That sounds like the Kyoto Protocol. Didn’t the Senate reject Kyoto by a 95-0 vote? We couldn’t reduce global warming pollution by 90 percent if we turned off every last gasbag in Washington, Beijing and Magnitogorsk—no disrespect intended, sir. But if we cut 90 percent in developed countries and only half worldwide that means somebody won’t be cutting—India and China—and they are far worse polluters per unit of production than we are. How is that going to help? And there will be massive unemployment in the United States. Hop Sing and Gunga Din will be driving steel, but John Henry will be sitting on his butt. Where’s he going to find work? Sure, he’d like to be a chambermaid at the Playboy Mansion but what’s the chance of him getting a job like that? We all can’t be Border Patrol Agents. I think you ought to reduce your own gaseous emissions by 90 percent.

“I don’t think you’re ready for the pledge, Cliff…Will somebody show Mr. Claven the door? Now…2. I pledge to take personal action to help solve the climate crises by reducing my own CO2 pollution by as much as I can and offsetting the rest to become ‘carbon neutral.’”

Wait a minute, Senator, wait a minute! That place you live in isn’t exactly Green Acres. You got enough electrisical lines running in and out of those 20 rooms to jump-start the Frankenstein monster. I hear your energy bill runs as high as $1,400 a month. I don’t know what you call that—An Inconvenient Truth? You own three houses, have a heated swimming pool, travel by private jet, your zinc mine has been cited for pollution and you say by buying Carbon Offsets you are not polluting? Where are the facts to back up what you’re saying? Did you get them from the New York Times or Dennis Kucinich?

“If you don’t want to take the pledge, Mr. O’Reilly, just say so…will somebody escort Mr. O’Reilly to the egress? (It wasn’t Mr. O’Reilly; Gore frequently mistakes people for Mr. O’Reilly) Now…3. I pledge to fight for a moratorium on the construction of any new generating facility that burns coal without the capacity to safely trap and store CO2.”

Wait, wait, Senor Alberto, what about me? I am a poor ranchero, can barely keep my family fed. Last month the U.N. said raising animals for food was one of the biggest causes of global warming in the world. They said one-fifth of global warming comes from animal emissions! I’ve got a lot of animals! I’d like to help—I want to be like you. Where can I get a carbon credit? Could I fit my cows with catalytic converters? Is there such a thing? Could it be invented? How much would it cost? And what about cow poop? Could I use it for a carbon credit? Would you come and get it, Senor Alberto? I know you are a busy man, but I have only one truck. And what about dogs and cats? They emit CO2. Why can’t we get rid of all the dogs and cats and keep the cows? I know it sounds harsh, but…do you have dogs, Senor Alberto? It would be a small sacrifice. And I hear trees eat CO2. It I plant ten trees can I keep 100 cows? That sounds about right. Could you stop by my rancho and explain to my wife and kids how trees eat cow farts and why he have to get rid of Lassie and Rin-tin-tin?

“I think you’re a little confused, compadre. I’ll get back to you later…somebody help our friend to the lounge so he can get some air. Now…4. I pledge to work for a dramatic increase in the energy efficiency of the home…5. To fight for laws and policies that expand the use of renewable energy resources…6. To plant new trees…7. To buy from businesses and support leaders who share my convictions…

Not everyone is convinced the sky is falling…Pogo, Albert Alligator, Mark Twain…some who know almost as much about science and climate as Al Gore.

“I have no doubt that…a trend of global warming exists,” says NASA administrator Michael Griffin. “I am not sure that it is fair to say that it is a problem we must wrestle with. To assume that it is a problem is to assume that the state of Earth’s climate today is the optimal climate, the best climate that we could have or ever have had and that we need to take steps to make sure that it doesn’t change. First of all, I don’t think it’s within the power of human beings to assure that the climate does not change, as millions of years of history have shown. And second of all, I guess, I would ask which human beings—where and when—are to be accorded the privilege of deciding that this particular climate that we have right here today, right now is the best climate for all other human beings. I think that’s a rather arrogant position for people to take.”

Here! Here!

Not only is it arrogant—it’s unscientific!

Careful, Al! One more step and you will fall off the end of the world!

Get Chicken Little! Gore needs an intervention!

In "What If All the Ice Melts? Myths and Realities, Wm. Robert Johnston wrote, “Despite what we may have been told, it has NOT been proven that human-caused global warming is occurring, and in fact there is substantial reason to reject such claims. The best explanation for the evidence is that whatever global warming trend exists is mostly the result of natural influences like variations in the climate system and variations in solar radiation. The suggestion that human activities will cause significant changes in global temperature and sea level in the next century are flawed predictions which haven’t been conferred by observations.”

Well, what do you know! It’s Al Gore’s 7^th of July parade and it’s raining science! Do you think anybody will notice?

Why not swear off drinking and let it go at that?

Ms Nancy Navarro is a graduate of the University of Missouri at Columbus; Ms Shirley Brandman is a graduate of Yale College and Yale Law School; Dr. Judy Docca is a graduate of Pennsylvania State University; Mrs. Patricia O’Neill is a graduate of Southern Methodist University; Stephen Abrams is a graduate of the Wharton School of Finance and Commerce at the University of Pennsylvania; Christopher Barclay is a graduate of Columbia College in Chicago; and Mrs. Sharon Cox is a graduate of Towson State College. Yale, Southern Methodist, Towson State, what do the members of this eclectic group have in common—aside from membership in the Al Gore Flat Earth Society? Well, let’s see—they are college graduates and most of them have children. That was easy. We will need a bit more. Okay, they have a decided tendency toward liberalism, are active in community affairs, none have ever been indicted for a chainsaw massacre, and, oh, yeah, they are all members of the Montgomery County Public School Board of Education, Rockville, Maryland.

Jeb Stuart rode thorough Rockville in June of 1863 on his way to join Bobby Lee and the Army of Northern Virginia. He received an enthusiastic welcome, dined at the very best homes and captured a wagon train. Jeb was a graduate of the West Point Military Academy and with his knowledge of genetics—he was a first-class horseman—he would have been a natural for a spot on the Montgomery County Board of Education. Jeb didn’t know anymore about psychology and biology and genetics—or sexual orientation, for that matter—than Cosmo Kramer or Granny Clampett, but he could have issued the same Flat Earth statements on homosexuality the Montgomery School Board did.

This is what the Board said: “Psychology has decreed homosexuality is genetic.” That’s right—psychology, not Cosmo Kramer, has decreed homosexuality is genetic! “Gays and lesbians are born that way and can do nothing about it.” “Sexual orientation cannot be changed.” “Sexual orientation is innate from birth.” Flat Earth or Brave New World? It doesn’t matter. It’s the lack of thought that counts. It was an easy step from accepting the ‘new psychology’ to making changes in the school district’s sex education curriculum. Students in the tenth grade will be asked—in fact, they have already been asked in pilot programs—to read and analyze ‘coming out’ stories. It’s part of the Board’s Brave New World sex education program. Next year it will be bestiality and foot fetishes. Have there been protests? Yes. Did the Board expect protests? Yes. That’s why—whenever possible—school boards work in the dead of night.

Citizens for a Responsible Curriculum took up the cudgel. They had clashed with the Board previously so had some inkling of what was coming. Parents, they said, “are the ultimate authority to guide the moral direction of their children without interference by an increasingly activist school system.”

They were not alone. Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays protested the new curriculum. “According to the American Psychiatrist Association there are no replicated scientific studies supporting any specific biological cause for homosexuality,” they said. (The Board must have used that old Ferris Bueller Study)

Nature or nurture—that is the question. Is it psychological, biological, sociological, neurological or environmental? Or is it just plain sin? That’s what the late Jerry Falwell believed. “Remember,” said Falwell, “homosexuals do not reproduce. They recruit! And many of them are out after my children and your children.” As if Darth Vader wasn’t enough to worry about!

Is there a conspiracy to promote a gay and lesbian agenda in the American school system? No, it’s too obvious to be called a conspiracy.

In How America Went Gay, Dr. Charles Socarides, clinical professor of psychology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine explained how gay activists and their running dogs in the liberal media had bludgeoned his profession into silence. “Excuse me,” he wrote. “Gay is not good. Gay is not decidedly free. How do I know this? For more than 40 years, I have been in solidarity with hundreds of homosexuals, my patients, and I have spent most of my professional life engaged in exercising a kind of “pastoral care” on their behalf. But I do not help them by telling them they are O. K. when they are not O. K. Nor do I endorse their “new claim” to self-defense and self-respect.” Dr. Socarides is worth reading.

What does the Bible say? It says a lot. The following is a maxflackian translation of what the Bible says—some liberties have been taken to protect the innocent, but it can be printed and framed and hung over the fireplace.

In the beginning God created heaven and earth—that’s right, heaven and earth; there was no Hell because there was no one to put there. But things were boring with just heaven and earth so God created animals—little furry things, large slithering things, things that dug holes in the earth. They were a lot of fun and after a while there were more animals than God could keep track of. He thought of giving them numbers. But there was one little animal that didn’t seem to know his place; his mission; his reason for existence, his raison d’etre. He was mischievous; he was smart-alecky; he ate updock. He was an embarrassment. Something had to be done. Now this was in the days before the Apostles so God had to take care of it Himself, but He had a lot of time on His hands. Sure, he had created the Super Bowl but there weren’t any people yet.

To prepare Himself for the confrontation, God practiced His scowl in front of a mirror. He would have to get it just right—He didn’t want to frighten the little rascal like He had frightened the dinosaurs. Poor brutes! A sad fate—but they had become a nuisance. God could have sent for the rascal but He decided to make a house call. Interstellar flight was no problem with God and in a moment He was standing before Warren Number Eight, B. Bunny.

“Bugs!” said God.

“Eh, what’s up, God?” asked B. Bunny.

“Bugs,” said God, “it has come to my attention that you are not performing your duties as an Animalia, Chordata, Mammalia, Lagomorpha, Leporidae, Sylvilagus.”

“Eh?”

“You didn’t understand a word I said, did you, Bugs?”

“No, God.”

“What do you do all day, Bugs?”

“Eh, I eat updock and drive Elmer Fudd crazy.”

“That is all well and good, but do you know what you are supposed to do?”

“Eat updock and drive Elmer Fudd crazy?”

“No, no, no, Bugs. A rabbit’s number one job is to make more rabbits You see, if I have to keep making rabbits I will be so busy I won’t have time to enjoy heaven and earth and I may have to create a place to put things that irritate me—like Hell.”

“Gosh! I wouldn’t want you to do that, God. What can I do?”

“You must make more rabbits, Bugs. You must reproduce. If you do not reproduce you will be an aberration—something that does not reproduce. You don’t want to be an aberration, do you, Bugs?”

“Oh, no, God!” said Bugs. “I don’t want to be an aberration.”

“Then go ye forth and multiply,” said God.

So Bugs went forth and multiplied and now there are more rabbits than Uncle Jed and Jethro can shoot in a month of Sundays. Bugs did his duty, God was pleased, and the Clampetts enjoy rabbit stew every Tuesday night.

Biological, sociological, neurological, psychological, environmental—it doesn’t matter. Homosexuality is an aberration. Vote it up; vote it down; teach it as a positive good; teach it as an unmitigated evil—it doesn’t matter. It is an aberration. It’s not normal and all the pseudo-scientists in the Al Gore Flat Earth Academy cannot make it so.

How would the members of the Montgomery County Public School Board of Education like it if some organization said school board members are born with a specific mindset and can do nothing about it, that their orientation cannot be changed, is innate from birth and they will have to read and analyze “conscience of a conservative” stories before they can qualify for board membership? Lesson Number One: Ann Coulter, Lesson Number Two: Pat Buchanan. No barfing, please…

Fraternization—Johnny Reb and Billy Yank getting together along the Rappahannock to swap coffee and tobacco and newspapers and to talk about how they could end the war in a couple of hours if given the chance; American GIs with German girls in Berlin in 1945; an officer cutting a private’s hair during the American Revolution. Fraternization—the word sends chills up and down the spines of dictators, psychopaths and Mad Mullahs; Nazis and Wahhabis; Soviet puppet masters—monsters in human flesh.

Half the soldiers in Il Duce’s Army had relatives living in the United States. How could they be enemies? They had so much in common—their humanity, their religion. Johnny Reb, Billy Yank; there had never been a war like the American Civil War. Fraternization took the edge off the hatred—some of it long lasting. Granny Clampett never forgave US Grant and Old Abe. In the War on Terror, save for what has come from the West, there has been a noticeable lack of fraternization—nothing from the other side. Congressman Peter King (R-NY) attends the funerals of prominent Muslims in his district. He has grown discouraged. It has been a one-way street. The oblivious Senator Patty Murray (D-WA) has said nice things about Osama bin Laden. President George W. Bush visited the Washington Islamic Center shortly after 9/11 to denounce anti-Muslim violence and to assure America “Islam is peace.” Was it fraternization? It could pass for it. Was there a response? Not so as one would notice—there were no corresponding acts of kindness, no meeting of the minds, no reciprocity, only an obstinate hatred of all things West, a one-way road to dar al-Islam, intransigence mired in Jihad and rooted in Hell.

Do Muslims visit Christian churches? They do. In May of 2002, an armed band of Muslims, apparently bent on ‘fraternization,’ occupied the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem. They stayed five weeks, cooking sausages on the altar and using the Bible for toilet paper. The Israeli Defense Forces ended the ‘peaceful’ occupation. Thirteen militants were sent to Cyprus and twenty-six to Gaza. They left 40 explosive devices in the Church compound. The President left the Washington Islamic Center with his good wishes and his gullibility. No longer expecting anything, Peter King just leaves.

Pope Benedict XVI visited a mosque in Istanbul to pray and to show his respect for Muslims. “This visit will help us find together the way of peace for the good of all humanity,” said the Pope. Was it fraternization or obeisance? Whatever it was, it did not spur any respect for the Pope’s religion. On September 16, 2006, a Greek Orthodox Church in Gaza City and five other churches in Nablus were attacked by Palestinians armed with guns, firebombs and lighter fluid. The next day, two more churches were attacked. Was it something the Pope said? At least they could have stayed for coffee—Jeb Stuart always stayed for coffee after raiding a Federal supply base; that and to complain about the poor quality of the mules supplied by the Federal Government. Hatred was not part of Jeb’s character—or of his religion.

Debbie Weber, a social studies teacher at Edgewood Middle School in Cincinnati, Ohio, arranged for three of her seventh grade classes to visit a mosque as part of their study of the world’s five major religions. Some parents objected and the Thomas More Law Center prevailed upon Debbie to cancel the visit. According to Thomas More, a growing number of US Public Schools are alleging discrimination as a pretext to proselytize for Islam. Shakila Ahmad, a volunteer who organizes the tours was disappointed. “It rarely, rarely, rarely happens,” he said. “I empathize with the school, with the teacher, with the superintendent. They’re working with some misinformed members of the community.” Misinformed about what…the First Amendment? Did they forget that Shar’ia Law trumps the Constitution? Do Muslim students visit churches and synagogues as part of their educational experience? And if not, why not?

Public schools are setting aside prayer rooms for Muslim students; Eastern Michigan University has installed footbaths so Muslim students can perform their before-prayer rituals. Non-Muslim students take classes in Islam, learn quotes from the Qur’an; get to say “Allahu akbar.” A Bible or a T-shirt saying ‘Jesus saves” will get the miscreant detention. A spirit of spineless accommodation is afoot in America’s Brave New Schoolhouse.

How accommodating is Islam to other religions and other cultures? As accommodating as Captain Hook was to Peter Pan, or is that too much to expect? Islam has only been around 1,400 years.

An example of Islamic accommodation: Recently in Benin, Islamic militants went on a rampage and destroyed a church—it had been open three days…THREE DAYS! Churches have been torched in Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq, Indonesia, and Kashmir; pick any point on the compass. Wherever there is a church or synagogue there is Mad Mullah anxious to tear it down and enough willing hands are available to help him do it. Is it possible to get along with Islam? Accommodation is suicide; surrender is worse than death. Johnny Reb and Billy Yank got along famously when they weren’t killing each other. They fraternized every chance they got. They had few religious or cultural hang-ups. On the other hand, fire and water mix more readily than Muslims and non-Muslims.

Fraternization? Yeah! What fraternization? What do the Imams say?

A Muslim asked Mufti Ebrahim Desai of Ask the Imam if it was okay to attend the funeral of his Christian relatives, particularly in a church. The Mufti said, “It is prohibited to attend the actual funeral ceremonies of non-Muslims.” Display your grief and send your condolences. (Pay attention Peter King)

A Muslim who had removed his children from a Muslim school to a Public school because they were falling behind academically went on line to find out if he had done the right thing. “Please note, that children spend most of their active lives at schools” said the Answer Man, “ and they will be affected regardless where they are. You really don’t want to hear your daughter coming to you when she is 13 years old, to tell you that she has a date, and I can almost guarantee you, that someone will propose to her. Don’t make it hard on her by putting her in an environment that encourages immoral behavior.” Brave New Schoolhouse indeed!

A Muslim from Canada had a question for the Imam. Was it wrong for the Taliban to destroy the giant Buddhas? If Islam preaches tolerance how could one justify the destruction of the Buddhas? The Imam was ready. “It is wrong to say that Islam teaches us to respect the religious beliefs of non-Muslims,” he said. “To respect the beliefs of others means to respect kufr and shirk. This it totally unacceptable.” (kufr= Christians and Jews; shirk=polytheists)

Klebold, Harris, Starkweather, Manson, Dahmer, did not fraternize.

According to the Imam, non-Muslims have the following rights: “They may practice their religion within the privacy of their homes; They may not build any new churches or synagogues, etc; They may not celebrate any religious festivals in public; They may not display in public any item having particular religious pupport, e.g. bible, cross, statue etc; They may not ring the church bell, nor read their religious books so loud that it is audible in public.” These were the laws in effect during the glorious Andalusian Caliphate.

Johnny Reb- Billy Yank; Gale Sayers-Brian’s Song! A good Muslim does not fraternize. Mohammed will never pour champagne over Yogi Berra’s head after a World Series; Mohammed will never saunter into Archie Bunker’s Place to hoist a few with Barney Hefner and the gay guy. There is more religious and cultural diversity on the Chicago Cubs’ pitching staff—and a lot more tolerance—than there is in all of Islam. Muslims won’t be visiting a church or synagogue near you unless to torch it—and if they do visit, like a few brave Muslim women and politicians did under heavy guard in Baghdad recently, it will be to risk the fate of Salman Rushdie. Fraternization—is a word one won’t find in the Qur’an.